Do you feel sometimes that the world is a big laboratory and somebody is performing a complex experiment on us all….?
On one side we have our dreams and aspirations….. And we chase them, we fight for our dreams… and what we achieve is not always exactly what we really wanted…. The nature of that achievement always changes by the time we reach there…. Does someone up there tweak the things before we get them?!
Often, by the time I get it, I do not want it anymore…. It looks too dull in comparison with the vibrant journey I experienced, to reach there…. If it is possible, I must be more in love with the path than the destination, and guess it works the same with many of us….
Also when we gain something, we lose something on its way…. There is a cost of everything in life, nothing, nothing ever comes for free. Sometimes, what I lost in my path leaves a gaping hole in that glorious achievement….. I do not want glorious achievements anymore. I never started out to gain fame and applause or money…. But the world often takes it for granted that I must want all that….and gives me just that! I am wordless and helpless if it comes to explaining that “I do not want it! What I am looking for cannot be bought with money, because it does not exist! I must build it, create it myself…. It cannot be offered like applause, nor spread out like popularity! I wish I could explain what I am looking for…. It is some quiet place, beautiful in its presence, surrounded by love and warmth and wisdom….peaceful and conscientious at the same time.”
Not that we do not respect what we get. We are extremely grateful for the journey and wisdom it brought to us…. But “now what?” is the question that pops up every now and then, edging us to embark on a fresh journey all over again!
They say we lack stability…. We say we lack inertia! Stability for us arises from quiet industriousness. Stability will dawn upon us, for now, we simply do what we are doing; we live in here and now…. That in itself is a wondrous state to achieve…..