Posted by: Anu | May 5, 2011

Renunciation….


I was going through some pictures taken by a photographer friend of mine. It was sheer pleasure to just witness his moments of “hey look! I caught it!”
Some pictures that I stopped by made me feel as if I should renounce my camera! They were too good!
And I thought that every time we witness or feel closer to perfection and beauty, we want to give up something, some part of our ego, out of happiness, not out of grief!
Maybe that is what all those big people call renunciation. It is wrongly connected with a boring, monotony of life that has no bonds, no love and no appreciation…..and saffron color!
In fact it must be the opposite! One can feel true renunciation only and only when he can be ONE with the beauty and symphony of this world….

It is not escapism, not a way to skip pains and pangs of life. One cannot renounce life in fear. It will not last. You cannot choose to stop breathing with intention to die, because life is such pain in….‘wrong place’. You have to live, so that you can learn to rise above the pain, above the pleasures and above the NEED for either.

Yes, we need pain and pleasure both. Most of us unknowingly are planning their lives in constant hunger for pain or pleasure. There is no other drive, no other aim in front of us. Though we have learnt to express ourselves in very high eloquence and believe the lies, truth is still as naked as this.

We are running after pain or pleasure… pain of missing someone, pleasure of loving someone, pain of working hard, pleasure of success…. The actual person or relation or success means very little to us. All that we want is the sweet-bitter feel of it….

So once we accept we are running blind, we can stop and think. When we think, we realize what life is shouting at us, but we haven’t learnt so far! Every day of last so many years I used to wake up and ask myself, why the hell am I born?! Why do I function and consume energy and dissipate it all the time?! I cannot be born to graduate, if that were true, I should die the moment I graduate. I cannot be born to become an architect, I should die the day I become one! I cannot be born to work or marry or have children…. either or any of it does not justify life! It just does not give me any answers…. rather it gives me a reason to not seek answers… to linger by some trivial ‘reasons’.

The moment we stop running after pains and pleasures, we know this run was never the reason of life. Life is just a lesson, nothing more complex or competitive than that! Learn it and move on….You never hold on to first grade books when you are old enough for high school, do you?!

One must renounce life just like donating old books. We are done with it, filled with its content, and need it no more…. so let the wisdom be passed on…. let the life move on…

I am writing this…. but I know it is not nicely gift-wrapped like I always do for you, my loved reader. This is not a very organized, metaphor perfected piece of writing. But maybe what I am trying to share is too big for me. I feel too limited, too tied down in my expression. So there is no time for trivial things like ornamentation.  I know what is making me write this, what inspires… but I also know that this is futile piece of writing…. it will not make much sense…. it will look old, boring. The words are too used, glossy lost of all the juice…. so many people have said these words so many times that I doubt if they can be understood and appreciated at all….

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