So Glad To Love…

I always thought people who live too much in the spirit of friendship are too weak to exist individually. I thought it was some sort of gang mentality, a weakness…

Being a loner most of my tiny life, I had vast personal space and friends remained beyond the boundary of that space….loved, but at distance.

But some things…. some random things DO change your perspective….

And lately mine has changed drastically!

I lost one person I loved, by the hands of death and another loved one chose to walk away. When the most possessively treasured relationships of my life suddenly got severed… I opened my eyes to unbelievable number of people that loved me even from outside my boundary of personal space…. People that I never let approach me fully, and yet found me worthy of their love….

The moment my big empty balloon of space broke with two blows of some divine interference… all the love, all the wonderful faith and strength rushed into my world…. when I imagined I should be in pain of loss…. It overwhelmed me with joy of immeasurable gain….

It feels like floating in a sea of love…rippling, warm and full of light…..sea that cradles me in my highs and lows….without letting me suffocate even when I sink!

Some love silently…. Some love jubilantly! Some humor me and some make me proud…. In the constant rush of interactions, I still remain ME…. being a tiny drop of this sea of people does not diminish me anymore…. It rather enhances the ability to express my individuality…. And yet I notice a thin underlining of oneness with the sea of people….

“Me and them”, are one yet special…

“Me and them”, exist yet don’t…

“Me and them”, remain free yet love…

“Me and them” are a wonderful concoction of emotions and thoughts…. A kaleidoscope of life and its variant joys… beauty and a heavenly reason for it to exist!

This is life as it should be… hurts, shocks and pains are just there, sitting in corner moaning about their vacant selves…. You can choose to sit with them and moan too…. But you CANNOT!! So beautiful is the co-existence of “Me and Them” that I cannot mourn anymore….about anything in life….

And for the first time I realized that for years I was sitting alone…. And mourning my own demise…that had not actually happened…. The moment I let THEM in… they pulled me out…forced me to LIVE and let the trapped and bruised LOVE flow out in every possible direction…. Never worry about where to flows to! There is too much love to contain… too much love to keep account of…. Too much love to withhold!

I know you will wonder WHO the hell are “THEM” in this whole issue! If you felt vibration of strong toxic love while reading this,

you are already part of my “THEM”!!

So let me tell you something I never said before….

I LOVE YOU…. AND AM SO GLAD THAT YOU LOVE ME TOO…

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‘Prey’er

Would it be too much to ask if I asked you to claim my life…my entire existence?

I want you to own me…. Every moment of my life, I want to spend in your toil, in your thought, in your command… You may not want to rule, but I wish to serve you…. so please, for my satisfaction, conquer me completely…..let me surrender myself to you.

You promised the mankind, that you shall appear as the devotee wants you to. Then I want you to come to me, as my lord, my king…. My only reason to exist is to seek you out and serve you, please you anyhow….

It is my only desire to think of you so much that I should forget my existence…. Allow me to merge my ego into yours…. Allow me to melt into your joyful presence…. I no more wish to fight for my life….I no more wish to run after mirage of safety…. I no more wish to take decisions that are not even mine to take…. This life, my every breath is yours…. How do I guard such great treasure you have left unprotected within me….? I find my arms too weak to protect your riches….. Please come and claim me before I flow out in vain… before the delicate deer of my heart is hunted down by dogs, come o divine tiger, feast on my tender doe….

My every cell is on fire, awaiting you…. no more make me anticipate our divine union, my great hunter….. let my blood merge into yours… let my spirit swirl with yours….

Yes, maybe I ask too much…. I give you no pleasure of chasing me down…. While everyone runs to save their life, I am running into my death, too eager to meet you….. But you are just as eager, are you not? Then why you saunter around, watching me, plead you like this? My pride is broken already…..as I stand here, a fearless prey for my lovely predator….

Monochrome poster color, year 1998

 

Miracle…

…and they say miracles do not happen?!

How blind!


See the colors of daybreak and noon and dusk turn into inky nights? Not miracle?!

Hear the breath flowing through your lungs… giving you a LIFE?! Not miracle?!

Feel the pulse beating consistently, without your command?! Not a miracle?!

Fresh light green leaves springing out from dead hard bark of a tree?! Not a miracle?!

Wails of a newborn child?! Not a miracle?!

First flight of a baby bird…. first step of your toddler?! Not miracles?!

Ripples on river, shining in moonlight …. Not miracle?!

Tides raising on sea….engulfing your tiny self…. Making you feel as vast as the ocean itself…. Not a miracle?!

Clear cloudless sky…studded with stars… and quiet forest nights….not a miracle?!

 

Miracles are not about getting what you want…. Or defying the laws of physics!

Miracle is already there, for you to sense its subtle hint….

But you fail to sense it because you are a miracle yourself…and gotten used to it…

You have lost the novelty of existence…you want more!

Miracle is all about not wanting and yet getting…

So are you ready for another miracle… of eternity?!